Here and Now

Marching to the remarkable drumbeat of regularity, Japan has turned out to be a fairly predictatble place. Certainly, there are millions of rules, regulations and traditions in constant operation and sifting through all of them in hope of learning or assimilating is a nearly impossible task. But, I have found that to be utterly unnecessary, for they belong in a realm exclusive to the Japanese. It is a members only club and no outsiders are allowed. Regardless. I have walked across enough ropes to know my way precisely to the degree I wish to know it. Certainly, I can, as many do, try to delve deeper and deeper into what still is, in many ways, a remarkable enigma, but that will not bring me any closer to truly being an equal part of the show and at most, impart knowledge on me that, in all honesty, simply will not be all that useful. Do I understand the heart of Japan, as many a cliche will ask? In my way, meaning sufficient enough for my needs, yes, I in fact do. I understand it enough to know what role it needs to play in my life. And once you have that figured out, there is no real need to go further...

Now, if I only wrote one intelligible thing there, meaning something that would give a more practical dimension to my conclusion, people might actually see what I am trying to say. I admit, it is a hard thing to convey, especially because it really does play out abstractly in my mind. Perhaps I need just a little bit more time to let it evolve.

In the meantime, its been a good fall. Classes in full swing, my niche fully and comfortably, albeit at times brainlessly, carved out. For a while, I thought about just dropping the blog bit, simply because I think it served a wrong purpose in my life. I was not writing because I had something to say, but rather because I knew someone would read it. That kind of motivation, while impossible to fully remove, is nethertheless a wrong one, I think. But, I figured, if I write telling myself that its simply fun to write for its own sake, I would be ok. And so, that's what I am doing now...

New foreigners have arrived and I find myself being labeled a second year, which theoretically propels me so some sort of status that I do not really deserve or feel. But it does put more things in perspective, knowing that I have lived in this land for well over a year, not an insignificant amount of time.

I find myself consumed by few things, budgeting both my money and my time. Ogle-eyed facscination with my surroundings has long ceased to be a primary facet of life and I now make sure that I find enough time to commit to things that not only can, but must be done, in any environment. And again, I will leave it abstract, without comment on exactly what those things might be.

I have to say that life has changed for me. Not in an earth-shattering way, but enough that I will forever be able to say that in Japan, things happened and I grew up in a way, refocusing my outlook, strengthening my will, and adding solid building blocks to a life-long direction. And thinking about that makes me happy, which I find more and more possible with each passing day. Thanks for your time.