If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Do not try this at home. Maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
("Honey, I'm home. What the....?!")
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes... lucky pig. Can you imagine??)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm........)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(OK, so that would be a good thing....................)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig??)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone.
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9 comments:
i have some to add...
since you've probably been out of the loop about the latest chuck norris craze...
The video game "Double Dragon" was created based on the true life crime fighting team of Chuck Norris and his penis.
The earth did not start spinning until Chuck Norris gave it a roundhouse kick.
If Chuck Norris invites you over for tea and asks "one lump or two" never say "two" because he'll beat you over the head with a fully restored '67 Chevy Impala.
In 1998, Chuck Norris' heart was replaced with a flux capacitor.
Chuck Norris once got into a fight with a seagull after the seagull stole his ice cream. Chuck Norris then grabbed the seagull, bit him in half and spit the seagull's remains into a sleeping baby's face.
One day, Chuck Norris ate 48 pounds of medical waste. You cannot question his reasons, for he is Chuck Norris. He proceeded to shit out New Jersey 8 hours later.
Chuck Norris has had anal sex with your girlfriend.
Chuck Norris thinks anyone who uses the metric system is a pussy.
this one hits home for you...
Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris was dropped at Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
After a week long battle with strep throat, Chuck Norris was so fed up with the situation that he roundhouse kicked his own tonsils out of his body. Chuck never fell ill again because no virus wanted to "Fuck with Chuck".
Chuck Norris has sold one clone of himself to each country in Europe, just in case the Germans ever decide to get crazy again.
It wasn't the chicken or the egg. It was Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris punches you in the uterus, you become pregnant. Dont try an abortion, either, it only makes the fetus stronger.
Chuck Norris's wife died of blood loss after his beard ripped her face off while they were having sex. When the police showed up to arrest him for her murder, he kicked their asses, then went to each of their houses and fucked their wives. And daughters. And mothers. And dogs.
Chuck Norris is the man...there were some funny moments there...
p, this is probably a good time to remind you that every member of roman's family reads this blog... as for you, roman, i can't belive you posted that. let's just say (in a slightly more PC way than p) that on march 20th, usa will reclaim two people, while you will never reclaim a certain vital part of your anatomy that i will return to your home even if you're not here. i'll consider keeping it on ice until you return.
hey, don't shoot the messenger. ctl+c, ctl+v.
Dear RDM, can't believe you posted it ... Somebody forced you? Are you OK? Well, it is disappointing ...
wow, people. a couple of weeks ago, i was reading about some huge blogging controversy at the washington post online about some posts and people's responses to them and just for an afternoon, i got sucked into the blogosphere, deep into it and figured out that many people read and swear by blogs, that blogs are their sustenance, etc, etc, etc. Looks like i have a little controversy of my own, en? I thought it would be a little relaxing to read about some little known facts about this great wonderful world we live in, but here, it has opened an unwanted can of whoopdidoo. I learn my lesson for the future, but I think the more appropriate attitude toward all of this is more closely resembles p's than the other comments...
dude, blogs are freakin' huge. there are a few books being published consisting entirely of blogs. i believe pulitzer is accepting blog entries now too.
Hey, you can't blame Roman for wanting to insert some lighthearted forwardage from time to time if he screens it well - I, for one, enjoyed it. I certainly don't think it takes anything away from the sincerity of the more serious posts.
Of course my sense of humor is rarely as intelligent as the pig joke...speaking of which - I have two comments: 1) What happens when the lion finds the pig - does it eat him, or do they join forces to break the world record for continuous love-hours? and 2) now there are officially two reasons why my room lights up like Times Square when I turn on the blacklight...
http://www.berro.com/entertainment/general_interesting_facts.htm
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