Tuesday, 5:28 PM, a completely ordinary moment...

Overcome by faint feelings of a lazy guilt, I want to free write for a bit about the general state of affairs. I usually leave school every weekday right around 4:15 PM, which is contractually the end of my official working day. Were I in America or were I Japanese, I would stay well past that particular time, consumed by the day to day routines of a real teacher. But here, I am not. I’m guessing I could still stay and participate in the various club activities with the kids, like judo or basketball or tennis (and I have a few times) but it is incredibly difficult for me to do so. The nature of my workday is not busy but it does nevertheless exhaust me. For quite a simple reason, that being, that it still remains a highly foreign environment to me, largely because of the language barrier but not solely. All day, pretty much the only language I hear is Japanese (besides of course the students’ speech – which is probably on par with my own Japanese language ability, read not very good, - the random few words that the non-English teachers know, and the difficult, yet quasi conversations I can have with my JTEs). As much as I’ve been studying (albeit, it is not near where I would like it to be) the language still maintains its mystery and its complete and utter distinction from the Romantic and Indo-European tongues that I’ve been exposed to my whole life. So to be surrounded by this incomprehensible buzz while at the same time attempting to have a somewhat normal, working existence is difficult. To add to that the fact that was is asked of me is extremely minimal (i.e. the system keeps me only so busy) I am left to my own devices to navigate through the time that I have on any working day. And since those devices aren’t really adequate for the task, it’s a difficult experience. (Of course, routinely not getting enough sleep may also have something to do with it). But anyway, that really wasn’t what I wanted to talk about (and if it had a negative slant to it, I apologize, I tried to be neutral). So, I’m walking out the door with the customary “Osaki ni shitsurei-shimasu” (“I’m sorry to be leaving before you) and whoever happens to be within earshot yells out “Otsukaresama desu” (“Thank you for working so hard.”) and this pang shoots through me. Here I am, going home to my carefree existence in Japan, and these people, who are genuinely thanking me, will be there for another four hours, doing what they have been doing for the previous eight (in addition to the actual classroom time they have put in). In a given day, they certainly aren’t faced with the dual dilemma of not systemically having anything to do and not understanding the tongue being spoken around them, so they are truly busy. And here I am, Mr. Foreigner, who doesn’t really do squat, leaving after an “excruciatingly” difficult day… Makes me really respect these people and question my own sincerity in what I’m doing here. I know the typical response a statement like this will evoke…”Well, Roman, your life is what you make of it, if you have certain feelings or beliefs, it is certainly in your power to act on them, if something makes you feel bad, you can ACT to ameliorate the situation, etc, etc, blah, blah, etc.” Well, thank you very much, Mr. Psychoanalyst extraordinaire, but is it really as simple as that? Ok, ok, that may get into really old personal issues, which I don’t want to do here, and won’t, but will simply continue rambling on, probably upsetting those readers who yearn for paragraph breaks. Guess what, they ain’t getting them, because, here in this little world of mine, there is no grammatical rules and is subject have to don’t verb agree with. Maybe time for some snippets. Last weekend, went to Kyoto and had an absolutely gorgeous time there. First time in my life that I traveled by myself and experienced the nouveau exhilaration that comes from the freedom to not be responsible to anyone else but myself for the decisions I make. The city itself is a varied mix of really old, somewhat old (i.e. old, but burnt down, so rebuilt) and new. Just about every block in some parts of the city has a Buddhist temple and the many sects and orders that are available to the believer or even simply a tourist are astounding. Having stayed at a hostel (an experience unmatched since summer 2002, whoop whoop, smazo missing the train in Venice, etc) and rented a bike from it, I spent the days cycling about, stopping where I wanted to, seeing some of the main sites (such as the Imperial Palace, the old home of the emperor, and for those who don’t know, Japan still has an emperor, and the Japanese even count their years from the start of the current emperor’s reign, so we are not in the year Heisei 17, because the current emperor started in 1989, when the old one died, some of the more famous temples, markets, constructions, parks, etc) and generally having a good time. During the night, met some interesting personages and enjoyed the nightlife, of which the city has a bit to offer (not as much as Osaka, but enough). I came back to hostel pretty late, and interestingly, when I was leaving, I found out that I had stayed in the same hostel for two days with two other Ishikawa JETS who I know, completely randomly…

Ok, maybe one paragraph break is all right. What else has happened? Well, there was that Halloween party a while back, some people’s girlfriends (ok, one person’s girlfriend) have left Japan, but not before cooking a bunch of really good Mexican food at my house (am I going to eat me twelve giant burritos topped with enchiladas when I come back or what – there isn’t any Mexican food within a 300 kilometer radius of me), working on a Sunday, school kids having a cultural festival, preparing for my first table tennis tournament (elimination from the first round, coming right up), preparing for my first basketball game with the team (they’re gonna get me a uniform), studying, eating, drinking, drinking, (yeah, just for good measure, its there twice), for some reason, again devouring Murakami like mad (Sputnik Sweetheart, currently), maybe falling in love, waiting, indulging, dreaming, suffering, moaning, being a tad sick for a while, preparing for a visit from my parents (which should be really good, hopefully), sleeping (not enough), having a first genuine night out with Japanese only (read non-English speaking Japanese) friends, oh yeah, teaching, oh yeah. The shogakko. The elementary school that is. I cannot stress enough how much I enjoy teaching the 1st, 2nd, and 3rd graders, especially at one of my schools. For one, I cannot get over at how genuinely cute these kids are. I’m not one to use that word loosely, but they are soooooooooo cute. I wish I could take pictures and show them, but I don’t know the legality (actually, I probably will at some point.) But they are also super excited to see me and always, ALWAYS, manage to bring a smile to my face. It is an absolute pleasure to work with them, one that diminishes as they get a little older, shyer, etc. I’ll have to write more about this topic in more detail at a later point. But for now, I’ve said, rambled, enough.

Next week, I have the ALT Mid-Year Conference, which, although its not quite near the half-way mark, is still a big “let us pause and reflect” moment for me. Except, a nap must come first.

Its getting cold and the heaters are out. Soon, the snow will start and I will be forced to introvert much more than before. Maybe then, something will happen…